Meeting God in the Mess
31/03/16 05:30
A couple of weeks ago I blogged about sorting Lego bricks. I’ve been dabbling with that project around the edges of my days since. I’m getting pretty close to being finished with the project. We have plastic tubs of legos sorted by color, ready for play whenever the grandchildren come to visit or transport whenever their parents want us to bring more of the toys to their home. At less than two years old, our youngest grandchild is still too young for the tiny bricks. They could pose a choking hazard. While she might be able to play with supervision with some of the larger pieces, there are plenty of other toys that are more suitable. Her brother, who is old enough to play with the legos, might choose to take some of the bins and dump them out on the table or floor as part of his play. The careful sorting is a temporary situation. In order to have fun with the toys, the colors and different sizes of bricks need to be mixed.
It is possible that all of the sorting was simply an exercise in adult sensibility that has very little to do with play. Most play involves a certain degree of messiness.
I remember visiting a distant relative years ago. Their home was beautifully maintained and well-organized. It was a model of hospitality and we were warmly welcomed. Like the residents of the home, we removed our shoes upon entry to help keep the carpets clean. We sat on the sofas, trying not to disarrange the pillows neatly placed in exactly the right positions. We watched the children playing with one toy at a time. When the child tired of a particular toy, he or she was instructed to put that toy away before getting out another. Later, as we sat for a meal, our hostess was so quick to clear the table after each course that she took away my plate before I had finished my meal. The house, however, was kept very neat and clean.
I remember having a conversation, after we left, about how unnatural the home felt. I’m sure it was comfortable for the homeowners and they have lived a meaningful life in their state of organization and cleanliness, but our life has taken a different course.
When our children were living at home we would at times devote an entire room to a game that involved lots of toys. Bedrooms might have dozens of stuffed animals. Sometimes we had stacks of books out. Just like I like to have several open books when I’m working at my desk, our children would bring stacks of books for reading at bedtime. Clutter sometimes got the best of us and we have had to employ some extra discipline just to get organized enough to welcome guests at times.
Just like my ability to feel at home amidst a certain level of clutter, I have discovered that I have a bit of clutter in my spiritual life.
Soren Kierkegaard’s philosophical masterpiece, “Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing,” may be a deep inspiration, but it would hardly describe my way of pursuing my relationship with God. Even when my goal is quiet contemplation, I have to dig through layers of other thoughts. I sit in the quiet of the church sanctuary to pray and begin by going through a couple of dozen prayers for others before I can begin to quiet my spirit and just focus on my breathing. Then a breath prayer will enable my mind to wander even further. I’m sure that no one would accuse me of order or neatness in my prayer life. It is as cluttered as my desk.
I have experienced disorder as a very common aspect of human life. It is easy to see in others. I am quick to identify inconsistencies and irrational though in the political philosophy of a candidate. It doesn’t take much training in logic to point out the errors in the thinking of virtually every public figure. We humans like to think of ourselves as rational beings, but in reality we are highly illogical. The problems and challenges of humanity are the products of our own behavior. War, climate disaster, political gridlock - humans invented all of these and more. Human history is a whole lot more like the jumble of thousands of unsorted lego bricks than the neatly organized bins of sorted toys. Contemporary politics more closely resemble the clutter and mess of my garage than the neatly organized home of our relatives.
Being human is messy.
It is a lesson that a newborn can teach a parent in the first diaper change. By the time that child is two years old, there have been days when the parents have had to change their clothes as often as the child. Before that child goes off to school, a health conscious and highly organized parent will take a half-eaten slice of apple from the child and eat it without giving it a second thought.
We are flesh and blood, muscle and bone, craving and disappointment. Humans are creatures that occupy bodies that are anything but neat.
I was reminded of the simple fact while visiting the hospital yesterday. The building is kept as clean and orderly as possible. Infection control is a part of the daily existence of every person. As I visited one patient, I scrubbed my hands, put on gloves, gown and mask then reversed the process on my way out of the room. I also noticed that the garbage can for the disposable items was twice the size of the garbage can in our kitchen. The hospital literally produces truckloads of garbage every day. It might be neat on the surface, but it creates a mountain of toxic waste.
Which brings me back to my spiritual disciplines. I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ - God incarnate - God in human form - God in the midst of the messiness of this world. The only way I am able to contemplate the transcendent is to dwell in the immediate. I experience the spiritual in bodily form. The divine and human are so deeply intertwined that they cannot be separated.
Welcome to my mess. It could use a little more organization. But God can be found here in the midst of it all. Faith can grow in these very human circumstances. I don’t have to wait until I get everything perfectly organized in order to pray. For that I am deeply grateful.
It is possible that all of the sorting was simply an exercise in adult sensibility that has very little to do with play. Most play involves a certain degree of messiness.
I remember visiting a distant relative years ago. Their home was beautifully maintained and well-organized. It was a model of hospitality and we were warmly welcomed. Like the residents of the home, we removed our shoes upon entry to help keep the carpets clean. We sat on the sofas, trying not to disarrange the pillows neatly placed in exactly the right positions. We watched the children playing with one toy at a time. When the child tired of a particular toy, he or she was instructed to put that toy away before getting out another. Later, as we sat for a meal, our hostess was so quick to clear the table after each course that she took away my plate before I had finished my meal. The house, however, was kept very neat and clean.
I remember having a conversation, after we left, about how unnatural the home felt. I’m sure it was comfortable for the homeowners and they have lived a meaningful life in their state of organization and cleanliness, but our life has taken a different course.
When our children were living at home we would at times devote an entire room to a game that involved lots of toys. Bedrooms might have dozens of stuffed animals. Sometimes we had stacks of books out. Just like I like to have several open books when I’m working at my desk, our children would bring stacks of books for reading at bedtime. Clutter sometimes got the best of us and we have had to employ some extra discipline just to get organized enough to welcome guests at times.
Just like my ability to feel at home amidst a certain level of clutter, I have discovered that I have a bit of clutter in my spiritual life.
Soren Kierkegaard’s philosophical masterpiece, “Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing,” may be a deep inspiration, but it would hardly describe my way of pursuing my relationship with God. Even when my goal is quiet contemplation, I have to dig through layers of other thoughts. I sit in the quiet of the church sanctuary to pray and begin by going through a couple of dozen prayers for others before I can begin to quiet my spirit and just focus on my breathing. Then a breath prayer will enable my mind to wander even further. I’m sure that no one would accuse me of order or neatness in my prayer life. It is as cluttered as my desk.
I have experienced disorder as a very common aspect of human life. It is easy to see in others. I am quick to identify inconsistencies and irrational though in the political philosophy of a candidate. It doesn’t take much training in logic to point out the errors in the thinking of virtually every public figure. We humans like to think of ourselves as rational beings, but in reality we are highly illogical. The problems and challenges of humanity are the products of our own behavior. War, climate disaster, political gridlock - humans invented all of these and more. Human history is a whole lot more like the jumble of thousands of unsorted lego bricks than the neatly organized bins of sorted toys. Contemporary politics more closely resemble the clutter and mess of my garage than the neatly organized home of our relatives.
Being human is messy.
It is a lesson that a newborn can teach a parent in the first diaper change. By the time that child is two years old, there have been days when the parents have had to change their clothes as often as the child. Before that child goes off to school, a health conscious and highly organized parent will take a half-eaten slice of apple from the child and eat it without giving it a second thought.
We are flesh and blood, muscle and bone, craving and disappointment. Humans are creatures that occupy bodies that are anything but neat.
I was reminded of the simple fact while visiting the hospital yesterday. The building is kept as clean and orderly as possible. Infection control is a part of the daily existence of every person. As I visited one patient, I scrubbed my hands, put on gloves, gown and mask then reversed the process on my way out of the room. I also noticed that the garbage can for the disposable items was twice the size of the garbage can in our kitchen. The hospital literally produces truckloads of garbage every day. It might be neat on the surface, but it creates a mountain of toxic waste.
Which brings me back to my spiritual disciplines. I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ - God incarnate - God in human form - God in the midst of the messiness of this world. The only way I am able to contemplate the transcendent is to dwell in the immediate. I experience the spiritual in bodily form. The divine and human are so deeply intertwined that they cannot be separated.
Welcome to my mess. It could use a little more organization. But God can be found here in the midst of it all. Faith can grow in these very human circumstances. I don’t have to wait until I get everything perfectly organized in order to pray. For that I am deeply grateful.